Techie Talk

I was on a support call a few minutes ago to assist a customer with installation of our software. We typically ask customers to provide us with a server with Dual Processor, 1GB RAM and 20GB free disk space.
Customer "This one is a very well spec-ed server. Its got 16CPUs, 64bit Processor and 800GB of free space"
Me "Thats when you know you are dealing with an oil company!!"

Wind Mill

Just back from a short pleasure trip to Netherlands. One among the many unique things we saw was the number of windmills. I felt quite at home amongst those windmills since I am one of them in a vague sense. This blog is testimony to the fact that I can churn out a lot of 'hot air', i.e., I am a "wind" mill. Anyways, in particular, we went to this village, Zaanse Schans, which is quite famous for its windmills. We went into one of them, which is still in use to produce oil. The "miller" was an unpleasant fella. He had such an air around him that had he stuck a tiny fan around him, he could have produced some useful energy as well. There were couple of other very tiny windmills around his house, one of them probably connected to his commode or re-charge one of his AA batteries for his digital camera. Don't abuse an idea, people! Please!

The last thing I am going to say before I shut up for today is the general behavior of Japanese tourists. We are at a "clog" factory when the guy annouced that the next demostration was to start in a few seconds. Instantly, you see a mini marathon of window shopping Japanese tourists run to the demo area. Same story at the airport. I tell you, the opposite of stand-at-ease is Japanese!

'Litre'l Thinking

Thanks to the liquid bomb scare at Heathrow airport a few months back, my cabin baggage which has clocked up many frequent flier miles can no longer dream of seeing an overhead compartment ever again. So, I was shopping today for a rollercase that met the 36x24x36..sorry 56x45x25 (cm)..requirement. I was appalled to know that I had to either carry a portable microscope to read the dimensions printed on the luggage tag or carry a tape measure, and I had neither. However, the volume of the rollercase was printed on the tag with such large font that I could have read it from the cruising altitude of a 747, typically 32000 feet I think. My grandma with cataract could have also very clearly read 56 Litres, 43 Litres, etc printed on these roller-cases, again from the same cruising altitude. When I go shirt shopping, I am ever so careful to buy only the ones less than 100ml. Gee! I cant believe they forgot to provide a nozzle. How am I going to pour my clothes into the rollercase?
Don't these manufacturers know that liquids are not allowed on board any more? If they did, the outer shell would be in clear plastic to zip past airport security.

All Abode

P and I were waiting for a bus this past cold & windy Friday night. P was reading the following ad at the bus stop

Perhaps the idea of sitting in an air-conditioned car triggered P's thought process and she said "There should be no open bus stops. They all should be fully closed, and maybe even with heating. London is cold most of the year anyway. Maybe they haven't done it that way because it's too costly to make it fully closed given that there is a bus stop every 50 meters. Or maybe because homeless people will start living in them"
to which I commented, "Then, this ad will read My other home is a bus stop"

Empty flights create more news

BMed Business Proposal: There has been a late uprising in Tashkent protesting the food poisoning of Lal Bahadur Shastri. Hence, its not safe to fly to Tashkent any more and we need to play a game called "Blocking the gate" at Heathrow. We will lose millions of £s but it will be balanced out against the millions of £s that our competition will not earn. The plan is called Plan-C. We re-call the pilot who was suspended for excess alcohol in his blood stream, give him an empty flight and we fly to Cardiff instead of Tashkent. Technically, its an international flight! In summary,
Cost of A320: £20 million
Cost of Plan-C: £2 million
Blocking the gate: Priceless

I have exaggerated, ofcourse. For the real details, click here.

Spaced Out

I have had atleast 2 protests for the lack of activity on this blog. I am very touched! No, I was not eaten by anybody on the Tube. I am just a spaced out blogger for the past 2 weeks!
Talking of space, P wanted to go the Science Museum last weekend and during the usual "Bye. Have a good weekend" talk with her colleague, she mentioned that and said "They have a simulation of Virgin Galactic there. Virgin Galactic will make space travel a reality. Initially, it will be just for the wealthy as each flight will cost in excess of £200k (or $200k)" to which her colleague instantly quipped "Oh well! I will just wait for easyJet to launch their service"!! Instant and witty!
Good luck to all those people who are waiting for Air Deccan to launch such a service! If you just take into the account the typical delay between Chennai and Bangalore, and extrapolate that for space travel based on distance, you might as well buy the ticket and write it in your will to be passed on to your grand kids

Cannibal Lecture

The latest ad from Transport for London reads in big font PLEASE CONSIDER OTHERS WHEN EATING. At first glance, this seems to me like an encouragement for Cannibalism. The last thing I want is some stranger in the tube contemplating between his burger and me. Somebody's skeletons in the closet seems to me will be somebody else's skeleton in the tube. At second glance, it seems like a subtle ad for Hannibal Rising or a clever ploy for population control. Beware of the London Tube - its a man-eat-man world out here! You may never have time for a third glance.