To Be or BT?

Forget sky-diving, fire-fighting or rock-climbing. If you want a death-defying experience and test your will power, all that you have to do is call B.T. (your defacto telephone line provider in the UK) customer service. In every call, you gradually lose the will to live and if you hang up alive, then your will power has prevailed! You have effectively defied Lord Yama.

I have been asked "Have you switched on your computer today?" when I have called them about broadband issues. Am I supposed to say "I feel ashamed. I actually felt kinda lonely. You want to be my pal?"

The latest incident is blogworthy and happened last week. I called B.T. Moves & Switches department and told them I would like to move my telephone line to my new address but would like to disconnect my broadband service during the move. The rep tried to persuade me by offering 6 months free broadband and 6 months at the existing price plan (£19.99 per month) if I sign a 12 month contract per this offer. (You dont have to be good in math to figure out that this would effectively make it £9.99 per month). I wasn't enticed by the offer and told him I am firm in my decision to disconnect BT Broadband. Obviously, the system is not flexible enough for 1 person to carry out multiple functions. He can only do moves and transfers as-is with all services remaining the same. So, he transfers me to broadband customer service. I tell him about his colleague's offer since he asks. Now, this brilliant man tells me "What if I offered it to you for £14.99 for 1 year?". I asked him if its on top of his colleagues offer. He says "No. its instead of his offer".
Eureka moment!! Was it a trick question. I felt a little like Dr. Evil "Why pay £9.99 when I can pay £14.99. Hooohuuuhaa. Hoohoohaaa. Hoohuaaa".
So, my refusal to take up this revised offer led him to set up the disconnection. I wonder if I had taken up his offer, I would have been passed on to "We like you because you are dumb" department with a revised offer of £24.99 per month

My 2 pennies of advice to my ardent readers - get your cup of coffee, read up self-improvement books before you dial that 0800 800 150 number.

Big Brother Live - New Season

You may have grown up to the concept of a curtain-raiser to usher a new event, a new concert, a new movie, etc but in the age when the Archishop advocates Sharia law, if you haven't realized you live in a topsy-turvy world. So, as a fast learner, in order to kick-off the latest reality series, I have brought the curtains down. If you know where to mount your cameras, all that you need to do is hire the guy from Big Brother to provide a live commentary "P has now returned from work. A is on a conference call. P is very hungry and survived on a cous-cous salad all day. A decides to help P out in the kitchen and still attend the conference call...." and you have your own Big Brother, thanks to yours truly. Your time runs out on Wednesday evening, however when I collect the curtains back from the dry cleaners.

p.s: Not my best piece of work after a 4 month hiatus, but I finally got the better of inertia