Picky Me

There was an article in BBC recently about nonsensical English signs in China that they are trying to clean-up ahead of the Beijing Olympics. On a related note, we recently came across an extremely funny menu in a Thai restaurant

"Lunch special: Flat rice noodles in black bean sauce guarded by spring rolls" !!
"Seafood special: ..... crab married with shrimp ...."

But, how perfect are the signs in London ahead of the 2012 Olympics?

This is the actual sign at the end of each carriage in the London Underground trains

"Lower window for ventilation"

I wonder if the upper window is for suffocation! The trouble is that there is only one window. It should really read

"Lower the window for ventilation".

Maybe I am picky, but I would expect perfect English in the motherland of English!!

Now, PJ time ...

If I travel by the London underground, does it make me a tuber ?

Q. What would you call a giant potato?

A Cheap Halloween Trick

This real incident happened a couple of years back during my hay days of flying. Those were the days when the time span between the thought of having a vacation to being on a plane was as short as 3 hours!!

Anyways, Maddy and I decided one fine evening that we would go to Houston the next morning to apply for a Schengen visa. The number of flights between Dallas and Houston are more frequent than the number of times my BlackBerry beeps for a new email. So, we decided to fly and we paid only $90 pp to get to Houston Hobby (the smaller airport in Houston). We got done with our work at the embassy and then we came back to Hobby.

The ticket counter had Halloween decor - pumpkins and ghosts and what not. The ticket agent was wearing a lanyard which read 'Happy Halloween', 'Trick or Treat?', etc. I was tempted to say 'Why dont you treat us to a free flight to Dallas?'. There were 2 seats left on the next flight out of Hobby and the ticket price was around $250 pp. The flight after that was sold out. Needless to say, we were only exploring the options on American Airlines. But, after all those days of flying, your first instinct is to bend the system. A few minutes later after thinking 'out of the pumpkin', I asked the ticket agent 'Are we allowed to buy a ticket going out of Houston International Airport and fly standby out of Hobby?'. Mind you, we were already in Houston Hobby. I got a very dirty stare (which still haunts me in my dreams sometimes) but she had to tell the truth "Technically, yes". She checked the fare and the ticket price out of Houston International was still $90 pp.

I waited till she printed out the boarding passes while shaking her head in disbelief. Then, I told her "You wanted a trick. I gave you one". She responsed, rather friendly (so I like to think), "Now, get out of here and dont cause any more trouble!"

PJs ...

1. Why was Jagjit Singh chosen as the brand ambassador for Hummer?

2. How did Sonia Gandhi feel when Manmohan Singh became Prime Minister?

3. What is the Italian phrase for Tit for Tat ... more of a give and take ?

A Jab at Hijab

The hijab (i.e., veil worn by Muslim women) has become a controversial issue for various reasons in the past few weeks. Jack Straw said recently that the muslim veil is a hindrance to cultural integration in Britain. Yesterday, on the other end of the globe, a Muslim cleric named Sheikh Taj el-Din al-Hilali expressed an opinion at the other end of the spectrum comparing women without hijab to uncovered meat. Wah Taj! Kya idea hai. Personally, I am not on either side of the veil which makes my stance "on the veil" because both of them are oversimplifying the issues. Just like all my other blogs, this one too is on a lighter veil..oops..sorry....lighter vein. I am no mind reader, but I am taking a veil guess ...oops ...sorry...wild guess here that the cleric would be strictly opposed to the 3 piece beach suit (hat, sunglasses and sandals)

Lets get these two guys to have a debate and not let them out of the room until one pre-veils over the other.

Location: Wales, UK or New South Wales, Australia
Duration: Difficult to predict
Moderator: Hugh Heffner (that should make it fun)
End Result: A law that would make the hijab mandatory for every woman or a law that would make the hijab illegal

Either way, good things are going to come out of this. Either you will have a fully integrated British society or its the end of sexual assault on women.

Your comments are veilcome

Organic News

BBC's main headline all day today has been about British doctors given the permission to do the first full face transplant. This is serious stuff, potentially giving the recipients social acceptance, better quality of life and so on. The idea of transplants is old now but a face transplant alters the born identity of the recipient. I will let it be somebody's else headache to deal with identity & security issues that comes with this type of transplant.

MJ would have been the saddest person today. He would be going "Damn! I should have just waited for a white guy to be almost dead". Can you imagine a 70 year old getting a face transplant from a 30 year old? What a disappointment for the lady when he pops the blue pill. I wouldnt mind getting a face transplant from a female it if means I dont have to ever shave my face again in my life!

Anyways, the transplant debate reminds me of some catch phrases on DART buses to promote organ donor awareness in Dallas

"Organ donors are better livers"
"Have a change of heart. Be an organ donor"

What would you come up with? How about

"Being an organ donor is a no-brainer" (slightly insensitive, I know)
"Can you lend your ear? You dont even have to listen"
"Wanna be a kidney donor? Ur In!!"

DON-e-Mat

If you didnt figure out from the title of this blog that you should avoid going to Don at all costs, let me make a Re-DON-dent statement. The Re-make of DON has definitely put a dent in Farhan Akhtar's career as a director. If Dil Chahta Hai was the dawn (pun intended, duh!) of a new era, then DON is definitely the dusk of that era. If Lakshya was about finding oneself 20000 feet above ground level, DON is about losing himself 20000 feet below the rock bottom of the sea bed. Maybe the young director would be better off as Farhan Actor from now on. I used to admire Farhan Akhtar, until DON and I continue to hate SRK. The movie is non-Rukh Khan. To make it worse, its times 2, sometimes in the same frame! Let me not sound all negative. The 'Khaike paan banaraswala' song is simply amazing and the production is very slick! Now, the negatives
-> Kareena simply has no Charisma. I dont like comparisons even though its a remake. But, does she thinks she can pull a Helen? Hell,no!
-> Boman Irani thinks he is Boman Armani. No chase is impossible for him in a fine suit and tie
-> Isha Koppikar looks like Isha, the Kuppaikari (Translation for non-sambars: Isha,, the garbagewali)
-> Don can do a skydive with no pro equipment and steer himself better than Schumacher. Jo g mein aaya wo kar deta hain!

Anyways, its a very don-ting task to sit through the movie. Don ko pasand karna mushkil hi nahi, naa mumkin hain! CON would be a more appropriate name for the movie. There better not be a " Don - The chase begins all over again" anytime soon

Alright, alright, alright...I havent forgotten that this is a site dedicated for PJs. So, here are a few PJ Qs inspired by the movie

1. Who is Don's mom?

2. Who is Don's dad? ( You need to think like a Tam or a Londoner to get this)

3. What is Don's password?

4. Whats Don's favorite city?

5. What would be Don's name if he were a fashion designer?

6. What is Don's hiding place?

7. What would you call an ignorant Don?

8. What does Don have for breakfast?

Bundar at INSEAD

As Bundar approaches the end of his INSEAD life, I thought I would write a little something in Bundar's honor. Bundar always loved French and he would spare no opportunity to show off that he was a de-hard louver of the French. For example, he insisted that Rang de Basanti was a French movie as anything with a de had to be French (Charles de Gaulle, for example). Inspired by RdB, Bundar MIG-rated as a spy (Insead-er) to unearth the French Connection. His biggest challenge has been to deal with 6 week periods, which is a completely new concept to him. It would be tough for any guy, for that matter. With just 1 more period to go, Bundar is experiencing all symptoms of manopause. The irony of Bundar's situation is that he will "stay free" once he is done with the final period. His new conspiracy theory is that FCUK is a society inspired by the English Channel. He hopes to continue his inseader-er work in London. We wish him all the best.

Celebrity Publishers

1. What would Phil Collins be better known as if he was a wedding musician?

2. What if Faith Hill loved raw burgers?

3. What would be the name Larry Elison's publishing house?

4. What would be name of Penguin books if Morgan Freeman purchased it?

Answers are in the comments

Yo! MKG

You da inspiration for today, mon!

1. Why did Gandhiji like "black" coffee?

2. Which type of coffee did Gandhiji like when he grew older?

3. Which type of coffee did Gandhiji never like?

4. What was the secret of Gandhi's energy?

5. What was Gandhiji's happiest month of the year?

6. What if Gandhiji had ended up a music director?

7. (This one is for people who know Tam) Why did Gandhiji like PJs?


Post your answers in the comments

Hearsay ... Here I say

A few borrowed orginals

Manopause: When a guy gets hot flashes

Is it be-ghar or beggar?

George Bush's blog site: dubya dubya dubya dot dubya dot com

iPadu: Tam mp3 player

Pehala PJs

My original PJs for the day

1) A Tamilian was caught by the US troops in Afghanistan. The newspaper headlines read "Curdish Rebel caught by US troops".

2) Rajnikanth was announced as the successor of Osama. The insurgents are now known as Thalaibans.

3) After massive success under the leadership of Rajnikanth, Thalaibans have managed to recapture Iraq and promptly renamed the country to "Iruqqu"

4) George Dubya's Yahoo Messenger screen name is "I'M Bush".