Kill Gillette Buyers

I think I have figured out what Scotland Yard hasn't in the mysterious death of Alexandar Litvinenko. How did he get radioactive material in his body? Why are so many other people from bar staff to random people in Germany testing positive for polonium210?









Before ...............After

See, all that hair is missing. It must be the razor. And, not any ordinary razor. I declare the new Gillette Fusion gill(et)te!








The (radioactive) Fusion process*
- The first blade is ice-cold making the hair stand up
- The second one cuts the hair
- The third blade scares the hell out of the remaining hair
- The fourth blade gets angry that the hair is getting scared and decides to cut your skin
- The fifth blade inserts polonium-210 under your skin
- Finally the lubrastrip seals the skin making it look like a clean shave

All those people testing positive for small quantities probably just shaved their moustache or beard. This fella tried to tonsure - and he ended up Gillettening himself!

p.s: For the not so discerning reader, read the title again - Kill Gillette Buyers

*Borrowing a theme from the Blue Man Group show